When I was pregnant, anxiously awaiting the birth of the little UFC fighter that was assaulting my internal organs, I thought that it would be so much fun to play with a baby. And it is...for about 15 minutes. During those 15 minutes, I am a hardcore "good mom," making strange sounds and embarrassing faces, while pretending to eat his feet or do anything else that elicits his elusive smile. But at 14 minutes and 59 seconds, my brain starts to wander, and I begin to get bored. I used to feel guilty about this. Why should I wonder about the world outside of my baby's narrow, blurry vision? I'm a stay-at-home mom, which means that this baby is not only the epicenter of my life, but he's also my full-time job. So one day, I told myself that, for one straight hour, I was going to do nothing else but play with him and coo at him and basically flood his senses with stimulation. And, to this day, that was the longest hour of my life. I kept looking at my watch, only to find that two, maybe three minutes had passed since the last time I'd checked it. But after about 20 mintues, I started to notice something...Suttie was getting tired of playing with me, too. His eyes were glazing over, and he was no longer interested in the hilarious antics that I was showcasing for his enjoyment. I have to admit that my ego was a little hurt. I thought I was much more entertaining than his glassy-eyed daze suggested. But, I discovered something important...we both needed a break. So, he went onto his infant play gym, and I turned on CNN (and shortly thereafter switched over to E!). Now, if I start to get bored while we're playing, but I think he needs more mommy time, I talk to him about the upcoming election in Iran or, more often, about Lindsey Lohan's downward, drug-induced spiral...albeit in a funny voice that sounds like Julia Child with a lisp. This is how we compromise and, more importantly, how we keep mommy from wearing one of those backwards white coats that buckles securely in the rear.
In closing, I'd like to say a brief thank you to Baby Einstein, Bright Starts, and Fisher Price for your tireless efforts at entertaining my child. It might look like I'm purchasing your products for their developmental value, but we all know that, without you, I would have lost my tentative grasp on reality long ago.
Ament sister, amen!!!
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