Lights out on Cell Block D

Well, we all survived Suttie’s first Halloween (he and the dog were both bumblebees….terrifying, I know). This year we only had to visit the grandparents, and his loot consisted of a toy drum, a pair of shoes, and some baby food. Besides getting Suttie and the dog to sit still long enough to take a decent picture, it was a pretty painless process. However, I imagine it gets harder as they get older and start to struggle against the child leash.

So now we’re looking toward Thanksgiving, a day when Suttie will taste a substance that will become the apex of his food pyramid—gravy. “Why hasn’t he had the chance to try gravy yet?” you ask. Well, because the last meal that I cooked involved frozen Texas toast with pepperonis placed on top. I called it “open-faced pizzas,” but then quickly renamed it “Texas tizzas” when I realized that all pizzas are open-faced. I have made a vow that, when Suttie starts eating real food, not the tasteless puree that currently rules his diet, I will cook real meals. Until then, we have cheese dip for dinner one night a week, and I have no problem with that.

And beyond Thanksgiving is, of course, Christmas…a time of merriment, generosity, and baby cages. I have already picked out the plastic prison that will be my son’s home through the new year. It’s an early Christmas present to myself and is guaranteed to keep him away from the decorations, the tree, and the presents. And before you call DHR, it’s from Babies R’ Us, so it’s 100% socially acceptable. Now, I found this step necessary since my child has started to crawl (in his own awkward way). At first, he didn’t go far because, let’s face it, he’s a big kid and he tires quickly. But now, the amount of ground that he can cover with that gimped-up army crawl is truly alarming. The dog’s threat level went from yellow to orange in a matter of days. So, when you see our Christmas pictures and Suttie is opening his gifts from the inside of a 5x5 corral, don’t judge. You can thank me later for the fact that your present was intact and slobber free.